Blinding Lights


Piss poorFeel like a crack whore

Scraping baccy off the floor

It was my last score

So my last draw

And my last straw

Don’t know when I’m getting any more

Begging letters

Debt collectors

In and out my front door

On the back foot 

You hear me roar

Back off

In the backdoor

If I have to be this poor

Then you’ll have it raw

And on my terms

Keeping my score

No more truth germs

Breeding microbes

Veiled micro robes 

Cheap clothes 

On my naked body

And the only eyes

To my surprise

Seeing life through mine

Are the grime boys and the white trash 

Being thrown out

Like the piles of crap

In gangways

Gang ways speak to me best

How is it that black boys 

and criminals

Know my pain better

Than professionals with credentials

And see there i go

Only least I know

That we ALL hold 

Or have held over us

Ten fold

Prejudices 

privileges 

Which we’re blind to

drip fed

Like poison 

In a system 

Systemically poisoning them

And their beautiful minds.

Give me 5 seconds of your time

And meet my eye 

Keep in Contact

and watch me cry 

Without judging why

Even those grimey boys make me cry

Without ever knowing why

Or that I know that the most broken

Is the smartest, strongest guy. 

I’ve tried 

Real hard

To conceptualise

Worlds beyond my own eyes

And I’ve connected

But no ones listening in

Or will let me in

When my words come across their airwaves 

As welcome as turds through the letterbox

Doesn’t matter who you are anymore

Any more

Than it ever will again.

I’m done with needing your reassurance

Or insurance

Or the money from your safe

To find a safe space 

And know its safe 

to share my pain

And be my freest self again

From the inside

In the outside 

world 

And even outside 

Is poisoned by filth

Is poisonous

But it’s in the mind 

And the minds eye

And in meeting mine

watch me as i cry

Don’t be shy

Or shy away
Maybe someone reading this one day

Will recognise they’ve seen my name

And wonder if I’ve let you off

The hook 

That I didn’t name and shame 

You may feel you got off lightly

But i don’t play blame games

I’m not fishing for your sympathy

Compliments or sorry

I’m both sharing mine and guiding people to this place of solace

All I ever wanted when I shit on your doorstep

Was for someone else to read out loud the words

They could never hope to read

So read between the lines of fans

Of this stadium in Wales

The grandstand from where I make my grand stand

Against the powerlessness

Of voicelessness

I’m turning around the dead beat of this gig

Of dead beats who in this heat

Melt like the melts they really are
I’ve written to your parliament

I’ve written to your stars

I’ve written to ‘professionals’ 

Fat cats with cigars

I’ve written to fake friends

And family ties 

Spoken on radio, TV and the like

But in the aim of being careful

I’ve failed at being a me I like

One or two or three at least

Hopefully countless more

Will be weeping now like children

Fallen on the ‘slippery when wet’ floor

As the floor comes out from underneath them 

they finally see the warning sign

That existed perfectly right

before their eyes

challenging everything That they thought they ever knew for sure

In the roaring, deafening, silence of this wordstorm in my soul

That has finally breeched the limits of my self-control

I have like a tiger learned to play 

Potential enemies and allies in much the same way

Stand still and stand silent

Hold a strong gaze 

Do not flinch or look away

With a powerful word 

And the power of knowing that 

you can read in my look

That I’m too reading you

Like a naked new book

I’ll stand any man down

Hold armies at bay

Send them away

Fleeing like children

Not getting their way

Throw your chips down

On your way out

While I throw caution to the wind

But you’ll be waiting for my whistle

To throw your ball back in

I don’t need a single like, agreement or reward,

The satisfaction of this statement 

Are my penalties scored

I’m the referee now spectators 

The goal and centre forward

I’m the ball and star defender

The fans and stadium too

I’m the game

And the love of the game

Because I love the game

And the look of love

When you’re high on your tightrope 

it’s easy to forget

That when you threw down the gauntlet 

After you laid out your safety net 

You caged a murmur of swallows 

Swallowing down 

The Crumbs you dropped with no regret

With no regard

For the harm

That the twisting of these arms

And the grounding of your now stirring murmur 
So fuck off your MPs and fairweather friends, the DWP and celebrity trends, nothing to offer in recompense 

goodbye to all hatred

I’m everyone’s friend

I’m a lover and a fighter

And I’m fighting for love 

Love is a battlefield

it’s a choice

It’s a verb

Keep up the good work

Whether you’re soul-searching, 

Or hoping and praying for

What you are seeking 

What you’re not seeing is 

That Love’s not the answer- it’s the task

I ask for nothing but peace now 

I DO the love part to and for EVERYBODY 

And I am the most well loved

By my self at least

For overcoming the onslaught of other peoples doubts

Those ferocious beasts

And what a feat

to win that battle so run down and off my feet

But the power in the writing- in the creation of these words

And throwing this verse into the universe  

Now confined to a fleeting casual look through my history book 

And now will only ever be heard again in the moment

That this voice is really heard

So hear my rage and hear my fury 

I will NOT let you Ignore me

I vow 

That as from now

nothing, no one, on earth can stop it

if you’re feeling my point

At this point in time

If you can see the light

In your night time

From this late night rhyme 

Someone’s heard right

And right through

To your mind

Then please know that I’m fine

If you play nice

And be kind

You may share mine

And show mankind 

How you’re feeling

These have value

if they help you

Then they help me

Be my truth too. 

And the same goes 

Whether you’re negro

Or a bad man

Or a man bound in his own guilt

We’re all human

Its the voice of your heart I hear sing

Not the songs that it wrote when in pain one upon a lifetime ago

Inside all life

Was a bright light

Until life’s strifes

Too many tired strides

In the wrong direction 

Burnt it out

You can be dark inside

For a long time

And still be looking for the switch

That turns you on

Whether from within or the inside or from an outside

Impact on your blind side 

There will come a time

When the time is right

To switch on your light

And be your best kind of bright

Whatever your story

Whatever your battle scars

We all need to heel

And heal around the round table, 

Kneel as Knights at a social function

Of a dysfunctional social club

That none of its disenfranchised members 

Want membership of at all 

We sometimes make poor choices

Sometimes poor is measurable in the number of choices you don’t get to make 

But a choice we always have,

To accept 

To move on and along 

Or to board the express train

To express our deepest regret

Or repress and cause ourselves this stress

Stress to the body, and stress to the mind, stress to the planet

And it rests, the distress of this planet of unrest

In the balance Of the scales of justice to all life and humankind

We should allow a safe space to express our inner Selves

Free from judgement

Free from fear

Free from frightening

And fighting

Deflecting lightning 

Rods of judgement

From faceless gods right down

To Facebook

Which has the potential to be the lightening rod

Of a reckoning force 

Prayed to like god

In the face of injustice and 

Righteous indignation

Look me in the face:

Look.

As I tell you

No one can tell you 

When you know

Only you know 

What your heart grows

And

I know 

that my words have the power to heal

Because now I feel

Healed

And free

For real

Whatever your prison

The keys in your hands

The Matrix imagined

Is the matrix unplanned 

I CARE NOT FOR THE COLOUR

OR THE NAME OF THE PILL

WHICH ONES HARDEST TO SWALLOW

FOR THOSE DEEMED THE MOST WELL

Trust me 

Put the key in the lock 

Open a new door,

And never look back

No pillars fttof salt

Or or salts of the earth

Or pills for the pain 

Will heal your hurts

And it gets worse

Until you get past

The first post

Send your first

Truth turd

If you can’t find your own words

Find someone else’s

Like mine

And make them shine

Because they write them

With you in mind

And it screws their minds

Trying to get it right

All the time

Never knowing if ANYONE

had heard their song

With the volume up and their 

headphones on

Switch off

So you can switch on

To the turn ons

For the switched off

Because the end of the world as we know it 

doesn’t yet exist

So resist

Resist and multiply 

You don’t become a story until the day you die

Even after the moment

You took your last breath

The ultimate test

Was not your life length

but your legacy

can’t you see?
Switching lights on in the sunshine is a fucking waste of time 

at best

It’s the darkest

ones among you that I want to turn on, yes

With empathy, compassion, unshakeable knowing

With the feeling and the force

Of these words that are flowing

I haven’t stopped for a second in the emergency 

Of this urgent need to purge this out of me NOW

I’ve loved monsters who’ve got problems

I’ve been one at times myself

I cannot get over

Clearly enough the clear need to get over

Whatever it is that stops you from loving yourself

It’ll be a belief, or another kind of system

Existing in

out of your mind

Learn to be kind to yourself

To forgive, never forget

For its when YOU switch the lights on

It has the most dazzling effect

It shocks the sleeping eyes of others

To wake up 

and sit up straight

And if you’re straight-talking

Without constraint

Or hiding shame

as they adjust and see the new face 

With the known name

Only not the same

upped their game

Rub the dust from out the corner

As they’re rubbing at their eyes

And the trophy gets lifted

As the corner converts

And the goal smashes home

Noone actually has to get hurt 

You know

Throwing in your tuppence

At the players in the game

Hurts everybody in it

Spectators just the same

But keep throwing lucky pennies

In the hope the penny drops

It’s a bit like planting seeds

in the hope of reaping crops

To feed the humanity

That is starving itself 

of self love

Or being good-enough

By others standards

So set the standard yourself 

Where you’d like it to be set

And commit

to yourself only

That your bog standard

Will stand tall 

And not get bogged down in the stink of it all

You can live and rest

In peace 

You know

Advertisements

About Vickers

Artsist, Photographer & Writer Currently working on projects with the ultimate aim of improving the lives of people facing mental health challenges.
This entry was posted in Photography. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s